


He’s Not Just a Sweetie, He’s a GEM!

by Magical_Awesome_Kid



Category: Sander Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adventure, Collection of one shots and longer tales, Gen, More characters as we go, Sanders Sides - Freeform, Shenanigans, Sides are gems, Slice of Life, Takes place in the Gem verse but no interactions (for now), Thomas and friends are human, gem au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-05 00:13:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14031948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magical_Awesome_Kid/pseuds/Magical_Awesome_Kid
Summary: Logan, Patton, Roman, and Virgil are your normal neighbors… if ‘normal’ included being alien beings from another planet thousands of years old that occasionally saved the planet while also keeping an eye out for their human, Thomas. Really, it’s just another day in the life of the Crystal Sides.Gem AU





	1. Taurus? I’m a GEM-ini!

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the verse! Enter with our silly gem sides as they do their thing on earth with their teenage human Thomas to help them along the way.

            “ROOOOMMMMAAAANNNNN!!!”

            “NO WAIT I HAVE…!” There was a definite crash of something delicate breaking as Logan sighed, setting his head against the wood grain of the table before him as the boy next to him grinned.

            “Five bucks says Pat jumped Princey.” The teen hummed as the gem snorted.

            “That’s a fact, Thomas.” The other looked up, a small smile on his face nevertheless as the blue and white gem on his forehead sparkled in the light.

            Moments later, a red gem man carried a blue quartz in, the Blue Quartz giggling as he was plopped down into the chair. “I’m going to kill Virgil.” He swore as he reached for his abdomen, a katana-like sword being pulled from the red diamond, the gem  sparkling as its weapon was called.

            “Now, kiddo, no killing at the kitchen table.” The Blue Quartz reminded.

            “FINE!” The Diamond threw before grinning. “I’m gonna find him before he can hide in his room OR the kitchen. I AM COMING FOR YOUR FACE SIRRLY TEMPLE!” The red gem fired off as he ran off into the home. His sword was in the air as he gave off a battle cry.

            Thomas turned his head to the blue gem. “Do you have any more Crofters muffins, Patton?”

            “Sure do, kiddo! Be right back!” Patton leapt up and seemingly danced into the main kitchen area, pantries flying open with his movements. The light blue gem was always ever energetic, his short-sleeve polo and chosen cat hoodie waving in the air behind his form as he bounced around. His legs were more form-fitting with darker blue pants adorned with large stars over the shins. Black glasses framed his bright eyes as he looked around for the sweets.

            The darker gem beside the human lifted back up at the call of his favorite earth food – Crofters Jam. He wore a black polo with a blue tie, two toned as there was half a lighter blue star across most of it. He wore dark blue pants and shoes as well as some strange gauntlets around his forearms. Like the lighter blue gem, the darker also wore a “stylish” pair of glasses.

            Both were obviously inhuman given the skin tones being, well, shades of blue and the fact that one had a dark blue Star Sapphire imbedded at his forehead while the other showed off a Blue Quartz where his heart should be.

            The only human one currently in the room was the boy at the table, with tamed brown locks and big brown eyes, wearing his favorite red shirt with the gold star and some blue jeans, even though this was Florida, and it was HOT outside. His apparent age was in his teens, younger then the men who appeared about twenty-something but were truly far older then that.

            “FOUND THEM!” The lighter blue gem called as he scampered back. He had a saran-wrapped plate of muffins in his hands.

            As he said this, though, there was a third figure who ran into the kitchen. He was much darker, a mix of black and purple. While roughly the same age as the two men in appearance, he was a little skinnier (though he hid it in his enormous purple and black hoodie). He grinned as he spun, his black ripped pants showing off slits of purple skin. His back, however, flashed the star-shaped cut-out part of the jacket where a Purple Pearl shined brightly. “FUUU” he stopped, looking at the table (and, specifically, Patton), “FUUUDGE YOU PRINCEY!”

            “You FIEND! FIGHT ME LIKE A GEM!” The red gem appeared once more, sword brandished like a knight in battle. Really, it worked with his look – red sash, white overcoat with gold adornments that split at the hips, a black belt-like adornment that helped frame the small Red Diamond at his belly. His legs were covered in black as little gold stars shined at his shoulders. If it weren’t for the red skin and hair, he would fit right into any human fantasy novel as Prince Charming himself.

            “Heck no.” The Purple Pearl sat at the table. “I’m hiding behind Patton.”

            “You know the rules, Roman. No sword fighting in the kitchen. Besides, MUFFINS!” Patton offered as Roman glared at the purple gem.

            “You are SO lucky we have Crofters, Virgil.” He swore as he put his sword away and grabbed a muffin. “Oh my sweet, sweet muffin…”

            Thomas snatched one of Patton’s world-famous muffins before they were gone. The other gem finally joined the table, filling it out as they all talked and bickered about.

            “So what broke this time and how?” Thomas asked as he looked to Roman.

            “That UGLY mug Sir Sing-a-lot wouldn’t just get rid of. I FINALLY got it destroyed.” Virgil grinned as he sipped his coffee. He wasn’t much for earth food, but coffee and the occasional ‘junk’ food he could stomach. Logan was the one who initially never ate human food until Thomas had introduced him to Crofters. Patton loved food, loved making food and experimenting with food, so now he had a whole cookbook of Crofters recipes. Roman liked a lot of food but absolutely ABHORED carrots (Thomas could understand).

            Roman twitched as he glared. “HA! I like that nickname. I’m gonna keep it.”

            “Wait, that wasn’t a compliment.”

            “TOO BAD J-D-LIGHTFUL!”

            “Thomas, have you completed your homework for today?” Logan turned to the teen as he shook his head.

            “It’s summer, Logan. No homework.” He explained as the gem raised an eyebrow.

            “But you had school last week.”

            “Yes, and now it’s over for three months.”

            Logan eyed the human as he sipped his coffee. “Why would you halt learning?” Thomas shook his head as Patton chimed in.

            “Does that mean you’ll be around more, kiddo?”

            “If my mom lets me! And you guys really are the best babysitters anyway.”

            Roman turned with a grin. “HAZZAH! WE JOURNEY AT DAWN!”

            “It’s three-thirty in the afternoon, Roman.” Logan informed the other gem.

            “WE RIDE AT DUSK!”

            “Mom wants me home for dinner.”

            “DANG IT!”

            Thomas laughed as Virgil looked on. He’d reel them in if their ideas got too out of sorts in a way that might accidentally hurt Thomas, but staying in the area was usually good. They’d established their home base there about a thousand years back, watched the humans came in and built around them. They’d occasionally go out and interact, but Virgil liked people the least simply because new things made him anxious.

            Thomas had entered their lives over a decade back. When the boy and his family had moved to the town, one of his older brothers had dared him to check out the ‘spooky house’ at the edge of town. Thomas had not only gotten lost but lost in the dark, but the child had been saved when Patton heard him. After bringing the distraught boy home to clean and warm him up, Virgil managed to calm him down and Roman entertained him with tales of their adventures. Logan eventually managed to get the information needed and, logically, contacted the parents about the lost child.

            Thomas kept coming back, though, now that he knew the path, and Patton really loved the kid from the get-go. Over that first year, he somehow wiggled into the four’s lives seamlessly, whether it was getting homework help from Logan or binging Disney movies with Roman or cloud watching with Virgil (this had recently turned into cloud watching while listening to some band called My Chemical Romance – which Virgil adored; everyone else called it ‘PG-13’ music).

            The gems had never found themselves all caring for a human so much. Patton got regularly attached, and Roman sometimes took humans under his wings on adventures; however, Logan and Virgil kept large breathes. Humans were sometimes incomprehensible to Logan, and Virgil was always worried about someone getting injured.

            Yet, somehow, Thomas had dragged them both in, and now they couldn’t imagine a time without the kid. They were such good tutors and babysitters that Mrs. Sanders, after getting properly acquainted with Patton especially, allowed them to babysit. Thomas loved his gem friends, and they loved him back.

            “So, I have all day tomorrow so can we warp somewhere cool for the day? Oh, can I bring Joan, too?” Thomas asked with a bright smile. Joan was his best friend.

            Patton tapped his lip. “Well, kiddo, we can always pop over to the old Heavenly Temple. Oh, they have such a pretty view!”

            “As long as we have the SAFE areas marked out. I don’t want anyone falling off the side and poofing, _Logan._ ” Virgil threw to the sapphire.

            He frowned in return. “I was testing the structural integrity, and I underestimated the age of the structure. The chances of that string of events happening again are incredibly small.”

            “ _SOOOO_ I guess the chances are…”

            “Patton _don’t…”_

            “ _INFINITESIMAL?”_

            “YOU MAKE ONE MISTAKE FIFEEN HUNDRED YEARS AGO AND NO ONE LETS YOU LIVE IT DOWN!”

            “I guess you can say the joke _ages_ well!”

            Logan groaned as everyone else laughed. It wasn’t the best joke, but it was Patton. It was all in the delivery.

* * *

             Thomas ran around the house until he found his way to ‘his’ room. The gems had their specialized rooms that existed behind some weird door off the main living room while the house itself had been built for them back in the seventies. It was two floors with several beds and baths but most went unused because of the resident’s lack of need for them. The shared living area always seemed to have someone haunting it if they weren’t off in their rooms, a more common occurrence once Thomas came along. The only other room frequented was the back room where a warp pad lay. The house was pushed up against an old cave that had once been the gem’s only home, but the Gem door and warp pad had been easily integrated into the design of what the house was now.

            Thomas’ room was lots of posters and items he’d gotten from his adventures with the Gems that his mom would definitely freak out about if she saw them – like that bubble of the first monster he destroyed or the infinite hour glass that never ran out of sand. It was also nice as a place to clonk out the times that he’d overdone it on an adventure, had a rough day at school, etc.

            His prized possessions, though, held nothing to the sword in the corner. It was a smaller version of Roman’s in the same red color (Thomas really liked that color) that they’d found on a mission to some strawberry place. Thomas had managed to fall over with the blunt thing before Roman fixed it up and offered sparing practice. The others had pitched in, so now he could use a sword and even ‘judo’ flip someone.

            In fact…

            “ROMAN COME SHOW ME SOME COOL SWORD TRICKS!” Thomas called as he grabbed his sword in the sheaf Patton had made for it. It was thick leather-like with little stars and hearts all over it. Patton couldn’t help but make it cute.

            “EPIC!” Came in reply as Thomas ran to the front door. Behind him, he spotted the red gem emerge from his room. “I will show you the moves I have learned from your contribution of Disney heroes!”

            Thomas was jumping up and down on the balls of his feet as a second head popped out the magical door. The purple haired gem raised an eyebrow as he looked over the two. “Yeah, I’m gonna need to make sure you don’t end up with your face cut off.”

            “Don’t ruin the mood. Besides, Thomas can handle a few back flips and dramatic poses!” Roman defended as Virgil lifted an eyebrow.

            “Thomas can’t do a somersault, let alone a flip.” Virgil pointed out.

            “I can totally do a somersault!” Thomas defended as he dropped his sword. Hands up, he threw himself sideways only to get half his body into the air before his arms gave out. He crashed to the floor face first. “Ow…”

            Virgil shot Roman a _told you so_ look before he turned to the kitchen. They had a human first aid kit in there a mile long for a reason. When he returned with the verifiable suitcase of medical supplies, Thomas had a growing bruise on his forehead but didn’t seem deterred as Roman stood royally for the other to return.

            Roman had that effect on Thomas – every sane idea would escape his head for the mere possibility of adventure.

            “Ok, now that Sir Sunshine is back, let’s do some battle! Oh, and have you decided on a next production? It was quite wonderful to help in the last!” Roman chatted easily as the three left the house, retreating to the front yard. They didn’t have a back yard, per say, because of the whole cave thing, but the front had been cleared enough and seeded with local grasses and low-lying plants so that there was space to run around. The edges of the space had a plethora of fruit trees that grew giant and hearty thanks to the gem magic in the soil. Even though the gems had begun a bank account some time back they rarely shopped for groceries when they could easily warp to where they grew and pick them out themselves. A patch of vegetables was off to the side as well, one where Patton was currently pulling weeds before they could get too big.

            “Well, the summer musical is looking like it might be _Alice in Wonderland_ , which might be cool, but the adult theater is putting on _West Side Story_. I can’t do both so…” Thomas shrugged.

            “Simple answer: do neither.” Virgil posed. “Less stress.”

            “SHHH no. Dream chasing requires risks.” Roman threw back before turning to Thomas. “Well, I will help with the lines on whichever, but I have been eyeing a play at the local college to try my hand at as well. Have you heard of _Wicked_ , Thomas?”

            “OOO that’s a good one.” The teen bobbed his head. “You’d make a great prince.”

            “Well, I AM a Prince.”

            “No, like, the PART of the prince. Hey, do you guys know any green gems? Save the costume department time on make-up.” The boy asked as the red gem thought.

            It was true that they weren’t the only gems on the planet. The others had already been there for a thousand years at that point, and, seeing a Red Diamond… well… it wasn’t a good introduction.

            There had been some scuffle, but an eventual agreement was reached: we stay away from you and you stay away from us. Patton spoke the most to those gems in recent years after they’d had an addition to their family of the human child variety. The gem was probably a father in another life – if such things were to be believed – because he was easily the best dad on the planet. All the parents in the neighborhood came to him with questions whenever they saw him in town, and he always had some either tried-and-true cure or a modern recommendation. He’d helped raise so many kids in his time on the planet that it only made sense. Logan also occasionally sent missives pertaining to questions on this planet.

            None of them were green gems, though, the last time Roman had checked…

            “Not that I can think of.” Roman shrugged before he transformed. He now appeared to be a more female figure with long dress and wicked grin. “Think I could do the part?”

            “I always forget that you guys can shapeshift.” Thomas awed before he shook his head. “And yeah do whatever you like.”

            Virgil had wandered off to the side at this point to plop down under a tree. From the folds of his hoodie he pulled out these large headphones that easily slid over his ears as he began to listen to his music – not at its usual volume because he needed to keep an ear out for trouble but enough to lull him into a more relaxed state.

            He opened his eyes when he heard the first clash of swords, not even realizing he’d closed his eyes. Roman was working through blocks and pairs with Thomas while regaling some misadventure they’d been on (something about European explores??? Virgil wasn’t really listening). Virgil was at least glad Roman was starting with the basics first before they ramped up. Thomas was COMPLETELY out of practice with exams the last few weeks (he’d mostly been studying with Logan or finishing projects with Patton).

            Virgil closed his eyes again. There was no imminent danger, and Patton was also out there to keep an eye on things (he was cheering Thomas on as Roman let off offended Princey noises). Virgil chuckled to himself. He didn’t even notice Logan sitting at the kitchen window, book in hand as he watched the scene.

            These were always Virgil’s favorite moments on Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I'm going to do more or do one-shots but I just binged a lot on Thomas Sanders' videos recently so... Yeah...
> 
> Also if you come screaming at Roman he'll drop everything to grab you and carry you around Princess style. That mug was ugly anyway. Sorry Princey, but it was.
> 
> Also I feel like if Thomas went on adventures with them (he'd grab onto Patton's leg and won't let go) so they eventually start him on some basic defense like swords because, according to Roman, 'swords are awesome.' Thomas doesn't disagree, so basics to sword fighting it is.
> 
> They also basically act as the physical manifestations of his sides. I have a hc that some gems can influence the emotions around them (like Blue with her sadness), and these guys do something kind of like that (but not in a controlling way - Thomas is still Thomas, but it's like if they are in their rooms).
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	2. So Many Name's Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas can't believe his gem friends don't have birthdays nor have ever had their own celebration. Thankfully, Name's Days are a thing, and Thomas is determined to make them the best days ever!
> 
> However, that currently hinges on if Talyn, Joan, and Thomas can survive planning something with the gems...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back due to comments! Well, kinda. Working on this in the background when I can. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> WARNINGS: Some crude language because teenagers and Patton not being present at the moment.

            The boy’s mouth dropped at Patton’s explanation. “You guys have NEVER celebrated your BIRTHDAYS???” He screeched, shocked as Patton winced.

            “Well, kiddo, we don’t exactly… HAVE birthdays like you humans.” Patton explained gently as he pat Thomas on the head. “But that’s ok! We still celebrate lots of holidays.”

            “Yeah… but BIRTHDAYS!” Thomas whined as he looked at the man.

            Logan looked up from the holo screen displaying from his wrist. “Thomas, we are thousands of your earth years old. Even if we had access to the exact date we had emerged from our holes – which we do not – there would be very little way to calculate the exact ‘birth’ date we came about. Time is relative.”

            Thomas sighed as he threw his head back. He didn’t even remember how he’d gotten to this conversation, but now he was depressed for them.

            “You know what we COULD do, though.” Roman leaned over the back of the couch from where he had been researching plays in the area (and around the world – thank warp pads) that he could try out for. “I’ve been doing some research…”

            “Research? Who are you and what have you done with Roman?” Virgil sassed from across the room, earning him a pillow to the face.

            “Well he’s clearly Roman, Virgil. The question remains that research is not your strong suit, so why would you be doing it?” Logan added, getting a pillow to the face. “Rude.”

            “Ya’ll are on my done-zo list.”

            “Done-zo…?”

            “Not you, Patton.” Roman added before he stood. “BUT I was looking at a play when they mentioned a ‘name’s day’ or something, where people celebrate the day they were named instead of when they were born. What if we celebrated our NAMES day!”

            Patton squealed. “WE SHOULD! Logan, you know when we picked our Earth names, right? You’re so smart! WHY DON’T WE TALK MORE!?!?”

            “Or dear. Feelings.” Logan leaned away from where Patton was. “And, as a matter of fact, I do. It would be a few simple calculations to convert the dates to current Earth calendar.”

            “How many names do you guys have?” Thomas asked, confused.

            “We each bear several names and titles, but I guess we could simplify to three proper names.” Logan noted, already grabbing his laptop (one he’d stripped down and reconstructed with gem tech to increase processing and charge by magic). “My original name was Star Sapphire due to my gem, and we renamed ourselves again when we left Homeworld.”

            Thomas had never gotten the full story of why they left Homeworld – it was a touchy subject, and Thomas respected their feelings so he didn’t push – but AFTER Homeworld was fair game. “What names?”

            “We wanted to be different, so we started calling each other fun names!” Patton cheered as he threw his hand to his chest. “I originally got called Blue Quartz all the time. I picked ‘Heart’ at first but then ‘Morality’ had SUCH a nice ring to it. After we got to Earth, I was the first to pick a new name! It was a real _pat_ on the back moment!”

            “I am, of course, a Red Diamond!” Roman cut in, striking a pose with his sword, nearly cutting Virgil, who ducked easily (too used to Roman’s shenanigans). “But I didn’t like the ‘Diamond’ title, so I went by Red or ‘Creativity’ until we made it to Earth. Here, I met a DELIGHTFUL gent, who helped me gain my name, Roman!”

            Virgil rolled his eyes. “And we added ‘Princey’ because he acted like the haughty prince.”

            “I am the EPITOME of royalty!” Princey threw back before waving his sword at Virgil. “Want to continue, Dark and Gloomy Night?”

            “No… too much stress…”

            “I will endeavor to teach you mine, then.” Logan added as he looked at the teen. “As mentioned, I chose another name of ‘Logic’ while on our interspace adventures, then I met a brilliant philosopher when we came here. She inspired me to tale on the additional name of Logan from Logos.”

            All eyes turned to Virgil, who sunk into his jacket and groaned. “Fine. Purple pearl. Anxiety. Virgil.”

            “Want to add more, kiddo? Because we still don’t know why you picked Virgil.” Patton suddenly was over the arm of Virgil’s chair giving the boy the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster.

            Virgil rolled his eyes but caved. “Virgil. Vigil. Vigilant.” He shrugged. “Fit the whole Anxiety thing.” Virgil was then tackled by a screeching Patton into a hug.

            “I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!” Virgil blushed as he gave Patton a small side hug back.

            “Yes, and I also have the dates of our ‘name’s’ days correlated.” Logan swiped his finger as the screen displayed before Thomas.

            The teen grinned at the list. “We’re gonna throw the biggest name’s days for you guys.”

* * *

             For being the most hesitant to give his name, it was hilarious to realize that Virgil would have the nearest Birth/Name’s Day. As expected, he was anxious, and everyone else was complete chaos.

            “Haven’t these boys ever been to one birthday party before?” Talyn asked as they tapped their pen against the spiral notebook before them. Thomas had recruited two of his friends – Joan and Talyn – to plan the emo gem’s name’s day. Thomas had brought them in partially because they were friends with the gems – not as closely as Thomas, but Joan joked that the Crystal Sides were basically the other teen’s family at this point – but enough that their presence at the gem home was normal if Thomas was there.

            He’d also recruited them because the other three sides were failing epically at planning a party for Virgil.

            Roman was trying to plan a Disney dress up party, Patton had all these cute and pastel decorations made, and Logan was still kinda lost on the whole concept but trying.

            Thomas obviously needed help.

            “Yes.” Thomas replied as Patton dumped flour into a bowl at the counter. “But, like, kid parties. Logan and Virgil even less so.”

            “How old are they? Should we get alcohol or something?” Joan posed as Thomas rolled his eyes. “Hey, it’s what they do in the movies.”

            “I don’t think they can get drunk, and, at this point, I’m too afraid to test it.” The boy replied even as he doodled down ‘booze???’ on his own notebook.

            Joan had a bit of an evil look in their eyes, and their other friends knew that they were gonna bring up the ‘test’ with Logan later. Joan had told the two that Logan was their favorite for no other reason then that it was great to go science crazy.

            “…ANYway…” Talyn cut in. “What are we doing for food? I know these bunch are weird on the stuff.”

            Thomas flipped back through his notebook to a page full of scribbles. Well, it was the original planning page for Virgil’s birthday between the gems and Thomas. Virgil had gotten overwhelmed quite easily at the beginning of planning and had to calm down in his room, and… well, that’s when the others seemed to collectively lose their minds on planning.

            “Virgil will eat Patton’s chocolate cake, so we’re planning on that and pizza delivery because everyone likes pizza – well, Logan might but he’s not big on food to begin with. Drinks are whatever as he’s not big on carbonated drinks and just usually drinks water if anything.” Thomas read off the few notes that he hadn’t scribbled through.

            Patton was stirring away like a madman behind the three.

            “Patton is also making several ‘tasters’ for… reasons.” Thomas leaned in. “I think he’s just trying to stay busy after I booted them all from planning.”

            The other two teens nodded.

            “So food is good.” Joan nodded as they added to their own notes. “What about entertainment?”

            “Video games and movies?” Talyn posed. “I could hook up Netflix.”

            “Good. Very good. They have a playstation in the living room, too.” Thomas nodded to the other room. “Also I’m thinking small party. Virgil doesn’t like a ton of people crowding him.”

            “So just the gems and us? Six?” Joan counted about, adjusting their beloved orange beanie as they went.

            “My mom might come, too, maybe one of my brothers, but we’re keeping it under ten total, including the name’s day boy.”

            Talyn was now just scribbling down the side of their notebook now. “It sounds like this is good, Thomas. No worries, man.”

            “Well…” Thomas trailed off. “We still need decorations.”

            “Streamers, balloons, and some signage. Purple and black.” The beany-loving teen noted with a wave of their hands. “Bam. Done.”

            “And… presents.”

            The other two stared.

            “Fuck.” Joan swore as they leaned in. “Aren’t the gems still banned from the mall?”

            “They aren’t from Walmart.”

            “But I LIKE that Walmart.” Talyn protested as Thomas gave his best puppy eyes. “No, don’t try to do cute. That’s my thing.”

            “So you admit your adorableness.”

            “Shhh don’t ruin my dark persona.”

            “Basically, we’re babysitting.”

            “Please Joan??? Talyn??? I can handle one on my own, but I’ll lose someone and get banned.”

            “If we get banned this is all your fault.” Talyn warned as they pointed to the boy. The teen was NOT going to let him live if they got banned from the nearest Walmart.

            Thomas was already across the table hugging them, his body just thrown across the dining furniture to embrace them.

            Joan looked over Thomas’ shoulder to Talyn. _We’re gonna get banned, aren’t we?_ They mouthed to the other nb teen.

            The rainbow-haired friend looked ahead, refusing to answer. 

* * *

 

            Two days before the party date, three ancient (by human standards) gems and three human teens arrived at the front of the local Walmart. Virgil was at home still asleep as it was fairly early, and the pearl LOVED sleep but had anything but a ‘normal’ sleep schedule. The team had left him a note and gone ahead so that they could get most of the shopping done without him worrying or seeing anything.

            “So let’s go over this one more time to make sure we have everything.” Logan recited as he noted the three teens pull out one list a piece. He was very helpful in their organization of the lists and proud of their own intuition to make lists in the first place. “Thomas?” He questioned to his objectively and subjectively favorite human.

            Thomas was next to Princey as he pulled up his list. “So Roman and I are on decoration details. We’re getting purple, black, and white streamers, a few balloons, and some other basic party gear.”

            “I still think a bouncy house would…” The red gem insisted as the teen rolled his eyes but grinned nevertheless.

            “Gotta do it for your day, Princey.”

            “Eugh… FINE I’ll wait.”

            “Talyn, Patton?” The dark blue gem turned to his lighter counterpart and his assigned teen.

            “FOOD DUTY, SIR!” Talyn saluted as Patton giggled at their shenanigans. “We are in charge of flour, sugar, eggs, and whatever else Patton needs to make a kick-butt cake. Since we will be ordering pizza to the house, snacks and drinks are the ‘normal’ food.”

            “And we’ll get you more Crofters.” Patton giggled out. Logan wouldn’t eat otherwise, and the gems didn’t want to leave him out. It was an odd gesture for Virgil’s party, but Logan appreciated it.

            Plus they were low already… so…

            “Good, good…”

            “And we,” Joan referenced to themself and Logan, “are going to get some movies and game items to celebrate. Also, all gems MUST get a present for Virgil.”

            “EEE I HAVE THE BEST IDEA FOR A GIFT!” Patton bounced on his feet, his form even glowing in excitement. “Oh it’s going to be perfect! I’m thinking of…”

            “BU BUH BU!” Talyn cut in. “No spoilers until check out. Thomas, Joan, phones?” Their counterparts held up their mobile devices. “Good. Let’s get this party shopping done and NOT get banned.”

            “Is that all?” Princey asked, getting fidgety himself. His patience was atrocious at times.

             Logan ran through his own mental list one more time. “Well… that SOULD be all…” The gem didn’t get to finish his thought as red and blue shot past him and Joan. Joan gripped their beanie as to not lose it in the gust as Logan blinked, his tie fluttering before it fell gently to his chest.

            Joan looked at the marks in the ground where the gems and his human friends had been standing moments ago. Sighing, they muttered, “We’re gonna get fucking banned damnit.” However, when the teen looked back up, they noticed the last gem was walking quickly for a human but at his personal ‘slower’ pace into the large building having never been to a Walmart before. Joan cursed as they chased after, not wanting to lose Logan and have him start a fight with someone over factoids… again… 

* * *

 

            Virgil looked up from his laptop, scrolling through Tumblr, as the front door swung open. Roman led the way, carrying several bags bearing ‘Walmart’ on them as he swiftly disappeared behind the door to his room. He was hiding something because he’d inflated his form and hadn’t even paused to tease Virgil, as they did. Virgil rose an eyebrow as the second body flew in. Patton was covered in what appeared to be flour as he ran to the kitchen, many bags bearing the same logo in hand. He, at least, yelled “Hey Kiddo!” as he ran past. The last gem came in, two bags instead of many, muttering something about “stupid rednecks” as he did. He paused long enough to pass a small “hello” to Virgil.

            Virgil looked back as there was a THUMP at the door. His eyes grew wide as the three teens lay there. Half of the hoodie Joan had been wearing earlier was now dyed green when it had been orange, but now it was also wrapped around Thomas, who was missing his shirt. Joan’s hair was also spotting the same green coloring, their beanie now sticking out of their back pocket. Talyn’s hair was its usual shades, but it was also covered in flour as one of their arms revealed caked-on sugar… something.

            “What the fuck?” The dark gem questioned as Thomas looked up, grinning even as his eye looked like there was a massive bruise beginning to form right under it.

            “We didn’t get banned!”

            His friends groaned, and Joan took their beanie and swatted Thomas with it. Talyn dug their face into the floor just wanting to never get up.

            It wasn’t even noon.

            Sighing, Virgil set the computer to the side as he rubbed his temples. From his back, light poured out and became three semi-identical figures to the gem. They all bore the same basic outline – skinny jeans, jacket, etc – but they lacked his smaller details and their faces only had white eye slits while their bodies were shifting purple light and black shadows.

            “What is your need?” The first light clone questioned as Virgil nodded his head to the teens.

            “Someone take Thomas, Talyn, and Joan, and assess for damage. Give treatment and clean off… whatever crap they got into.” The three nodded and went off to their missions. The first took Talyn into their arms, but the teen latched on using their arms and legs to wrap around the copy’s torso. The copy saw no harm in this and simply adjusted its grasp on the kid, taking them to the nearest bathtub. The second and third clone got Joan up onto the second’s back before the third simply scooped Thomas up as if he was a baby. Joan was dispatched to a second bathroom and Thomas to his room for check over and, as he insisted, getting spare clothes for Joan and Talyn. Given the states of their current attire… Yeah, clothes changing would be good.

            Virgil closed the front door gently before following his light creations. They were great in situations like this, but they were very simple programs which would need him to watch over them just in case.

            As Patton started messing around in the kitchen, Virgil knew it would be a LONG day… 

* * *

 

            Later, Virgil would realize that all the hard work two days prior, reaming everyone in before someone died or got cracked, was all worth it.

            Because he had a stupid party hat that Patton had scribbled _Name’s Day Boy_ hanging sideways on his head, exactly where Princey had put it. When Logan tried to fix it, Virgil had been stubborn and danced away before he could. Logan gave chase trying to correct the error, but, in the end, he gave in and let it be for the gem’s day.

            The cake in a marble pattern of purple and white frosting lay before him as Joan was picking at their Ukulele (Thomas tried join as well, but the instrument was still very new to him) as they all sang the silly song that they’d created for the day. The cake had several candles, one over each letter of the name carefully scrawled on the surface.

            Virgil had been hesitant to be the center of attention, but when everyone offered to blow out the candles with him (but _only_ if he made his own wish), he felt less alone and went along.

            The lights flickered out as Mrs. Sanders, the only one not involved, took a picture. It was so stupid in retrospect – the funny hats, the adults and children hogged around the cake, the constructed hammock that Roman had gotten for him and assembled before remembering that it’d have to be put outside while Logan’s gift of a purple lava lamp stood next to it. Patton’s gift of a stuffed cat was snuggled in Virgil’s arms, the gem refusing to release it, especially when he saw the sweater that resembled his own wrapped around it, hand sewn by Patton. Thomas’ gift, nor the additions his friends contributed, were in that particular shot, but there had been a dozen more pictures and videos to commemorate the occasion.

            Mrs. Sanders had given digital copies of all of them to Logan, who printed the group shot out for Patton. Patton, with the help of Roman, had made the most ridiculous frame for the thing and hung it right in the hallway where they had gotten into the habit of putting all their pictures since they started using the home to the fullest.

            Whenever Virgil sat on one particular table, claiming he was too anxious to deal with what is and isn’t a chair, he was really in perfect view of that party shot.

            He always smiled at it, no matter who was looking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Kudo, comment, and bookmark! I love to get feedback, and the feedback feeds the plot bunnies to keep making stories!
> 
> In the timeline, it's summer so Virgil's name's day was closest on the list. Kinda wish I'd set it in winter with Princey's name's day being last week, but whoops. Oh well, Princey can get his bounce house when we get to that part of the timeline.
> 
> For anyone confused, Thomas and his friends are all high school indeterminate age group aka teenagers. I wanted the gems to kind of be guides to the kids in the ways of life, but our humans always have a thing or two to teach them.
> 
> Gifts: Patton got the cat with the hoodie because Virgil reminds everyone of a cat and plushie cats are great (Virgil loves plushies but it ruins his image so SHH). Roman got a stand-alone hammock because those things are comfortable and soothing to be in. He's seen Virgil outside only when he's relaxed, so he wants to do something nice for Sir Doom and Gloom. Logan's is more of the "this is cool" factor then anything else, but Virgil also appreciates the night light because he's low key afraid of the dark. You can imagine what everyone else got him.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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